But tbf not sure which is worse: people who went to exactly 1 live and Will Teach Others About The Gya Life (silly kids but hey they tried and gave at least Some useful info) or people who went to a lot but instead of sharing what they know choose to gatekeep it like having the opportunity makes em better (edit - disclaimer - no shade btw I love @rukarukaruka 's stories) .
And this is one of many reasons why I never got into vk fandom - too many ego fights and I Wonder if these rly go beyond Pls Notice Me Honmei complex or is just another side of it (and from what I know of vk locals I bet on 2)
The expectation of having the imaginary fling go beyond parasocial/platonic is 
to me maybe thats why kpop fandom feels moreme - its just so huge that u can comfortably sit back on the knowledge that ure deluded and no ur fav doesnt give a fuck to ur looks or art or thoughts or fic and if they do b pissed off bc u could have won the lottery w that luck