Hell yeah
A goodbye, or maybe a see you somewhere else
ゆめのはじまりんりん
Well… how can I even begin? First of all, thank you to everyone who takes the time to read this.
Somewhere around 2006, I found in music the biggest refuge from the hell that was my life after childhood and during the beginning of my teenage years. Music changed me in so many ways. It was through it that I eventually discovered this forum, though in older versions back then. The veterans here will remember TW wow, it feels like another lifetime.
At that time, I was like many others: just lurking, watching topics from the outside. My biggest wish was to join, but I was ashamed, I didn’t know English, and couldn’t really communicate. So I started slowly, using Google Translate to express myself. Little by little, I learned. I even kept diaries back then just to practice English,I still have them today.
I was just a listener, discovering so many bands through Last.fm when it was still good. That made me dive deeply into the Visual Kei world as a teenager living in the north of Brazil, with almost no social life. Life wasn’t easy at all, the internet was painfully slow, but it was worth it to spend hours listening, reading, and learning.
Eventually, I created my own blogspot out of pure love for Visual Kei. Some may not know, but I was the creator of J-Rock Brazil Downloads. Yes, it was basically copying things from the forum, and I know many didn’t like the way credits were handled at the time. But for me it was important: I learned about templates, more English, and eventually even became a short-term contributor at the old Edohsama blog (which later became JROCK NEWS site). I was happy because people actually enjoyed it. Those were years of spreading bands that don’t even exist anymore, and today many of those same teenagers are grown up, going to VK shows still happening in Brazil.
Deep inside, I feel joy knowing that at one moment, I was a bridge even if it was “illegal” through downloads that helped people discover Visual Kei. For many, this might seem like nothing, but for me, everything we do is like planting a seed. Sooner or later, it sprouts.
By the end of high school, things were changing. I shut down the blog because adulthood was already knocking on the door. By then the forum had become Monochrome Heaven. I was quieter there, still learning, but began to participate more under the title we had back then: (Reincarnated Really Hot People → Veterans). I loved that era.
It was also the time I bought my very first CDs. I waited three months for them to arrive. I didn’t even have a credit card, so I went to an exchange house, traded money for dollars, and sent it to CDJapan by registered letter. When they finally arrived, my happiness was indescribable. Music, which had always been intangible for me, suddenly materialized into physical CDs.
Life kept moving.:: Eleven years ago, I moved to another country, a land where I knew no one and didn’t even speak the language. Yet I stayed on the forum. Until the day came when I had to pause. Not because of anyone, but because it all became too heavy, routine, and the VK scene itself was burning me out. The pandemic was around the corner too. I think life was already giving us signals.
When I visited again,I had already missed the farewell train to Monochrome Heaven. I admit: at first, I hated the JRO design. For someone used to old-school forums, it was strange. I resisted for three years, despite feeling life calling me back, and even old friends nudging me.
Two years ago, I decided to return. It took me over six months to catch up with everything I had missed in the VK scene. I came back stronger, renewed in a way, and felt the same old fire ~the blogspot~ feeling that I wanted to do more than just read. So I started helping here and also at vkgy.
Over time, I grew into the role I once admired in others back in Monochrome Heaven collaborating, sharing, spreading music. A year ago, I officially became a News Reporter. I wanted it, I was proud of it, and it gave me something to remember in this new era of the forum.
At the same time, I was more involved at vkgy, where I could live out my love of collecting CDs. It was my way of giving my teenage self what he never had. Back then I only knew MP3 transcodes. now I could actually hold those CDs and their history in my hands. Many times, this brought me deep joy, reminding me of those days when I was a teenager in a cybercafé with a tiny 2GB USB 
stick, spending endless hours online.
But while I was growing in both communities, my real life was slowly dying inside, despite all the privileges I had. It hit me: I moved abroad over a decade ago, and again I could feel change looming.
In April 2025, the first piece of that change fell into place. I started rebuilding myself. I found a religion that completed me and made me feel whole. (Since my teenage years I had studied religions of the world, curious about life itself.) Now, alongside my time here and at vkgy, life started teaching me again: where I put my energy, how my behavior shapes my days, how even love for something can sometimes hurt others if it becomes too much.
It’s one of the faces of love: when we love too strongly, we can forget balance. And then we start to see where we are loved more, cared for more, heard more.That realization brought me here. I had already planned that 2026 would be my departure and of my activities ~my retirement (laughs) ~ but it came sooner. Not because of anyone, but because of myself. I need to walk into new places, where I feel better and whole. Life teaches us that with time.
September is my favorite month, my birthday month, and like a new year of life, I decided to close my activities here on last day of september. Consider this like a disband, like the bands we all know and just like them, the reasons are simple: “differences and changes of ideals and plans” but always friendly.
I could have skipped writing this massive text, but I had to. Many here don’t know my history with Visual Kei or with the forums and that’s okay. It’s not a permanent goodbye, I’ll be somewhere else or lurking here time from time, less present, if anyone needs to find me. But it’s time to live more of the real world and leave the virtual behind.
It’s been almost 20 years of forums. The best part is leaving the legacy to the new generation.
So I leave you with what has always guided me: let music and lyrics speak in my place.
ps: I love it きゃりーぱみゅぱみゅ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwWm3om-gSw
これから未来は 自分次第なのでしょ
わくわくの切符を 買いに行くよ
グッバイ ティーチャー マイフレンズ
旅立ちの際の ドキドキ
知らない都会に ご期待
ありがとう 勇気ください
さよなら 必ず叶えたいから
グッバイ ティーチャー マイフレンズ
21 Likes
funnily enough the auto translation I got said that he will starve us all instead
So sad, as someone who has been following you from afar for a long time I just wish you happiness, no matter where you are or what you like 
Vibrato + Double Bass is so addicting, it’s like all bass notes gets a pounding of juice
Absolutely love this purple
10 Likes
It’ll be here all month!
7 Likes
Besides the beautiful purple, I also love the Halloween logo with the pumpkin and the, let’s call it, Tim Burton Style font of JROCK ONE 
(i’m loling not complaining)
top tracks: all good, classics
except for #1 which is by far the most listened to ofc, featuring a kpop guy lmaoooo
now that new album is a month old, lyric search rankings are calming down again with anime ops at #1 and #2
I love that my insta feed is flooded with mcr, it’s so healing
3 Likes
I am suddenly finding myself listening to the same music my parents used to run and listen to on radio …
Is this a sign that I am old 
4 Likes
was there ever a group which instead of hiding their faces to reveal them afterwards which announced their band with a generic suit kei look (with all the members faces already revealed) to then reveal their true Visual?
5 Likes
And all that Im mad about is that it should been MY kpop guys GLAY collab . . . (In their defense their collab was released years ago) (but hope it peaked then)
In a completely unrelated note: (removing the personal details because I am starting to become aware of oversharing 
aint that great? Also cutting to the POINT ) Being unhinged towards a soft person who you (think you) know wont hurt you simply because they never did doesnt make you so crazyy or cool it just makes you a dumbass coward <3
Btw this layout is super kawaii uwu . . I hope there’s some sort of trick or treat tradeoff (do I mean to partake? Not really but I like to observe sometimes)
1 Like
stanning our homophobic QUEEN Sanae Takaichi (pisc sun/scorpio moon - would love to know her exact birth time, but I don’t see it anywhere)
she might be one of the most complex and interesting ppl we’ll see coming out from this decade but ljs don’t overstay your welcome, queen
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Anybody wants to eat grapes now 
My laptop (that I bought back in 2016-17-ish and still works fine despite the battery life being nonexistent) very unceremoniously reminded me this past weekend that it isn’t compatible with Windows 11 and now I have to consider whether I want to buy a new one or not 
I’m more concerned about the battery!
Once the charger comes off the battery runs out in a couple of minutes 
As long as it’s plugged in it’s fine though, so it doesn’t bother me too much