What was the weirdest compliment you've ever received?

Let’s spread some positive confusions!

Mine is “Your voice sounds like a 4 year old Japanese Barbie”

2 Likes

I don’t know if it’s really a compliment, but my sister once said “I could imagine you marrying someone really mysterious, like a guy who wears a pair of white gloves everywhere and refuses to take them off”.

I’m still not really sure what she meant by that…

6 Likes

Lol idk, but sounds like some black butler type shit to me

1 Like

“you did such a good job loading are groceries last time! You were fantastic”
I basically threw their groceries into the back of their car not even sure where I had put there poor bread

5 Likes

Lmao, been there done dat

You’re playing league of legends with your life

4 Likes

That can be taken so many ways

You need to nigga up. Get your ear pierced, work out, grow some dreads, sag your pants. You’d be so cute.

Said compliment was given to me by what I can only assume was an escort / sex-addict who was down real bad. Looking back on it, I think she stalked me out from the very beginning, but before I knew it she was in the seat next to me on a Greyhound bus that wasn’t reaching it’s destination anytime soon. She wanted it real bad. Whipped out her titties, tried to kiss me, asked if we wanted to go to the bathroom to shag, the whole nine yards. Somewhere between my fourth and fifth refusal is when she dropped that compliment and it’s like my brain almost segfaulted. I still don’t even know what that means.

And no, we did not do the thing. Or the other thing. There’s STD’s and then there’s your bits just disintegrating mid-coitus. And I am a faithful man. Also, I don’t think she had all her teeth. Not interested in discovering gumjobs today. Or herpes. I’m not a betting man, but I’d double down on her having or having had something then or at some point in time because when the bus did reach the destination, she moved on to locating her next target, presumably trading favors for a cab ride.

That compliment under duress is by far the weirdest one I’ve ever received, but to be honest I don’t usually receive many.

5 Likes

Holy shit, my gook, tf kinda town u live in? Srsly that’s some sekuhara type shit right there

1 Like

It’s life. Shit happens.

Second weirdest compliment happened out of the blue. My friend was on a dry spell, so he…rendered the services of what I can only describe as an acquaintance. We used to live in the same building and hang out every day, so I knew what his floor smelled like. So I knew I had a story brewing the moment I stepped off the elevator and the floor smelled like sex, gym clothes, and musty pussy.

Said smell only intensifies as I approach his door all the way at the end. I knock once, maybe twice, and the door opens with all haste. Smells greet me anew as my friend looks at me and mutters “I need you get her out help me please she won’t leave” and then she comes. Let’s call her River. She’s built and dressed like a stack of pancakes with the thinnest glaze of syrup, and when I step into the living room I see two mutual friends rolling some blunts. We’ll call them J and F. The smell still reeks, but eventually I figured I’d get nose blind to it. River doesn’t want to wear any panties and doesn’t mind sitting with her legs open, so my guess was quite wrong.

All this woman could chat about was sex. True blue sex addict. She said she had sex three times that day and was planning to go across town for a threesome. She had 300 partners that year and it was June? J and F are having absolutely none of her advances and my friend is conspicuously absent, so she descends on me.

“Oh you’re such a cute nerdy boy lookin like black Dexter mmm I’d eat you up rawr how about it?”

J and F looking at me like :zipper_mouth_face: don’t do it bro don’t do it and my friend swoops in from left field and her eyes were just magnetically attracted to his pecs like Mount Rushmore was transported into the living room and the heat was off me. They disappeared into the same room for a few minutes longer than seemed necessary, and he confirmed later that she tried to give him a blowjob, but he was still recharging, gathered her things, and told her she had to leave.

The smell vanished almost entirely the minute she left. Putting pants on and cleaning up probably helped too. I have it on good authority that she probably never made it to Brooklyn because she instantly saw someone in the neighborhood the instant she stepped outside she wanted a piece of, and he was like “Well why not?”. J later told me that she tried to hit on both J and F in succession earlier that day and they both curved her. My friend didn’t but quickly grew to regret it. Of course, I said no. The guy after said yes. Who knows what happened after that day? Surely not I.

Did end up finding out that she got pregnant, but when you’re going that insane is it really a surprise? I would like to consider myself fairly open-minded but holy shit, way to zoom right past the limit.

And I’m just realizing almost all my compliments come with weird-ass stories because I can’t be normal.

2 Likes

Bitches be crazy.

On the topic of uncomfy situations like that, my SCARIEST compliment was when I was 9 and almost gonna get raped in an alleyway by a drunk dingus and he said I was a “cute little virgin”. Luckily he was so drunk he didn’t even pin me down, so I just booked it.

1 Like

what the fuck

Anyway

There was a government intelligence officer from the strategics and secretary department codenamed ‘‘secret pen’’. he was a friend with my father, they served many years in the east military and police, before he retired I talked with him once like when I was 8 years old, he didn’t tell me but he told my father ‘‘I want to talk with ruya again ismael make sure to send him to me when he’s older, he’s very different and gifted’’

so 12 years later I tracked him down, he retired and became a docent in a prestigious university in turkey, he was in the academics council specializing in sociology and philosophy.

Now what I once was, I believe I still am only difference I worked on my bad side ever since my adolescence so my experiences… I don’t think anyone would believe if I told it, maybe I’m just good at playing clown or I like to believe no one cares but to the ones who truly mean anything to me, I’m transparent to them. Those people are hope incarnate to me, I can’t do anything but I know they will.

Most people would say ‘‘find your own way, do what comes from within’’ do you know what that means in other words? ‘‘You’re not my fucking kid’’
I did tell to those I was forced to like psychologists but the only reason I did was because no one can corroborate it or believe it, one of the few reasons I ditched my friends, they would try to protect me when someone would ridicule me, always asking ‘‘why don’t you defend yourself? why do you do this, all this trouble?’’ I know what I want to say ‘‘if only they knew’’ but it’s simply how I filter individuals, their merits are only a small percentage of it, I’m interested in who they are at the core

I know they don’t know shit but even he didn’t believe me. The only thing I can extract from this is what I’ve done for the past 5 years no one’s done it, maybe what they thought was impossible I did without thinking because its not something worth thinking about there are other important things and maybe having no reason behind it is what bends all understanding.
I thought I matured, but I’m still a fucking kid at heart, all those I left because I felt awkward to what you people wouldn’t begin to comprehend what love is, I was scared and felt weird, the only time I ever did. Maybe I was scared I was being played for a fool, maybe I felt awkward because they actually did love me. What a fucking child I am, what a fool I was. I am.

My first time was when I went clubbing with frat bros, a girl shoved themself to me, smelling of brine and alcohol and cheap ecstasy and skag for good measure, retards next to me saying ‘‘GET SOME BRIAN’’ and it was just mutual, I swear I felt nothing, her smiles meant nothing I saw what I felt seconds when I first saw her ‘‘here’s a girl who’s having the time of her life, caring for nothing but her next high, maybe when she hits her 30’s and marries they’ll go strong for 40 years’’ maybe she wasn’t good at it but I don’t think so, she looked like a fucking potato sack, it was such a chore. On the bright side I would say she was a 7. And afterwords she has the audacity to say ‘‘You really don’t care for anything do you?’’ A pauper dares to speak of the heart. What? post nut clarity gave you a few moments of logic and this sigmound freud philosophy is what comes to your mind? Telling me that I’m cute and moments later spews out ‘‘I wish I was a bird I could go anywhere and never look back’’ Who knew she was also rumi? I would’ve completed her sentence ‘’…but even flying is tiring now’’ but why bother? I just wanted enough time to pass so I could slid out of there without my dorm buddies noticing. Months later I dropped out but before that I wanted advice from the porfessors there, stood for 2 hours, and all they spared me was 2 minutes I’ll tell you what they said, the same anyone would bother to say ‘‘do what your heart wants’’ the same thing as ‘‘why the fuck would I care to say’’ the only one who did bother was very respectable lady who is the same age as my mother, had the same disease as her and maybe because of this she told her reality ‘‘bare with it, don’t quit now think about your mother, 4 more years and you’ll be employed, the same salary as a government worker, don’t put your future in jeopardy work hard and you’ll see everything will be fine’’ I just said thank you and walked 20 kilometers for 6 hours with baggages carrying my weight + 20 kilograms more to the bus terminal before a family picked me up seeing me walk underneath the sun, this is were dressing good is attributed to, I couldn’t even lift my baggages he took it and put it in the trunk and we drove for 10 minutes he circled back just for me, we talked a bit and like everyone all he asked was why.
He dropped me off, scissored my cheek with his fingers and we said farewell.
Afterwords I waited for 6 hours for my bus.
My good stories are as much as the fingers on my hands the rest are things that would make everyone uncomfortable or better yet afraid beside me, I grew used to it. That’s what’s scary to me, people can adapt to any situation and still feel comfortable.

2 Likes

What the fuck x2

4 Likes

Hahahahahaha touche

1 Like

I’m not sure if this even classifies as a compliment but one of my old teachers once said to me ‘‘How can such an angelic looking girl have such a vulgar mouth?’’

Ever since that she called me ‘‘angel girl’’ lolol. I took it as a confused compliment. I guess the long blonde hair and big blue eyes can be very deceiving. :eyes:

// I totally forgot this one but the first time I called an online friend of mine on the phone she told me ‘‘wow, you have a really good lesbian voice, it’s perfectly raspy, girls really like that’’ and to this very day I proudly live in the delusion that girls will fall in love with me because of my ‘’ perfectly raspy lesbian voice’', thanks friend for putting that in my head years ago.

4 Likes

U too huh? I’m babyfaced and confused for a elementary school kid often as a 17y/o

2 Likes

Oh boy I’m a fully grown 21 year old woman and still sometimes get spoken to like I’m a child which feels very patronizing, lol. Not only that but I’m a huge creep magnet and absolutely hate it. :weary:

3 Likes

I am yet another person who has received a compliment on their cervix.

2 Likes

Bruh don’t blame us, the world fucked up

@wing ayo???

1 Like

My comment was not targeted at them :sob:and I’m not blaming anyone? Why would I do that

2 Likes