guess who has a very important, personal and sensitive topic to vent but twitter still isnt back
it’s me it’s ya gurl. wow. whatever the fuck society has against me. next thing they know i’ll throw a bomb somewhere and then they’ll call me sociopath
its been what a month since some local fucker who thinks he is hot shit banned this website. wish this was just a bad dystopic dream I am going to wake up from but apparently no. FUCK, TO HELL WITH whoever can see a logic behind all of this <3
to expand on last topic (bc guess what I love to pick fights online to distract from actual problems) (no not taking my anger mgmt meds lol im barely eating)
it’s really … hah … how damaging it is to grow up as ‘a good student’ w/e drives u to do that. because like, no one enjoys studying, right? well maybe someone out there does but most people absolutely do not. so people pick on u bc u’re a nerd and stuff like that and if school is your whole social life well u’re gonna get pigeonholed into that. even if it isn’t it’s still very damaging. i was fortunate enough to have ~ internet access ~ and be allowed to make weeb friends and have fun bc my parents weren’t the ‘study OR ELSE’ kind exactly, more the ‘study and u’ll have videogames OR ELSE no allowance so say goodbye to the gamer friends hah’ and I was like ok I need to STUDY (in their defense the reason was p simple, study → scholarship → spare money → allowed to spend some of the spare money tbh fair deal)
but it really is painfully damaging bc studying and learning makes you wake up to the reality of the world we live in and yeahh … it’s a messy one. and then there’s side issues like getting a pencilcase to the head (lol I had no idea why it hurt so much. turns out I have avm 
) and being so done wit it u tear up n tell the mf sitting behind u, whos part of the problem, they need to grow the fuck up bc I and everyone else want to be in school as much as they do and next thing I know he an Itbro who Works Out Living Abroad add me to fb like haha wow good for u ig
keep doing that hoping it will pay off somehow but nah it doesnt because no one Cares.
its okay. just know nothing. it’ll be fine. learn by doing! do shit the wrong way bc u refuse to learn from whoever was here before and then die 
u’re not a practical learner??? then wtf is wrong with ur brain??? ‘dunno tell me’ haha a neurologist at 30? u crazy? etc 'maybe? tell me ’ wow perish wacko. commit an act of violence out of despair for never being heard or sympathized w/ by society, off to jail we go. my last job was something like listening to those ppl and it made me so much aware of my own vulnerabilities I was so jealous of all my middle class friends who were ignorant enough to live in bliss I rly want to live in bliss too but then the serious shit happens lol
so anyways maybe I sound bipolar but 100% sure its just neverending reasons to want to unalive myself or others forcing me to go to the haha im so silly extreme
this was such a giant tangential thought lol apologies the point was more that I found the password to an old journal acc of mine from hs days and wow haha the amount of ‘I need more time to study and catch up with anime’ there is unreal and then the occasional 'my parents have been in the hospital for a month of course I’m getting As not A+s why can’t my school give me a break why is everyone else allowed to have bad grades not me ??" (answer: school needs the couple of scholarship students to have skyrocketing grades so they get more paying students … ) . no one told me those days that I needed ‘support for being neurodivergent’ not ‘neverending pressure’ though. forget “then” even now no one tells me that lol its just what I ~learned by doing~
this was heavy so now for a light random thought
earlier this year I logged into my neopets account thinking wow I miss my accs I took such good care of them before mom passed away and I was hospitalized for anorexia and left everything soo. I logged in, happy that they hadn’t been purged/deleted. took exactly 0.1 sec for people to hold a grudge against me bc apparently a purge was scheduled for later this year and I was ruining their dreams of … creating neopets with my pets’ names bc they have unique names lol that in itself sounds nolifer but what if I told you I told one random person “oh if I could have any name I would want xxx I guess” and then one day later pet xxx who was in an inactive account was suddenly being traded obviously not hacked by itdds who make cash by hacking into accs and stealing neopets to sell for hefty sums lol … so yeah people on neopets dot com want my head in 2024 because I went back to playing for a min? lol? Seriously Touch Grass u’re all 25+ whatever makes u hold a grudge against someone bc they’re down and revisitng their neopets is Objectively Wrong
