So hmmm. I finally was able to video chat with a girl I’ve been talking with for the past month… wow. 1h30, I didn’t see the time pass by. I’m speachless. Never in my life I talked with a girl so interesting. It’s a breath of fresh air. I have no words, really 
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Ok. So I got an interview 2 weeks ago. It was to work at my old job. They knew I had mental illness. They still took me in for an interview. 5 days goes by, they don’t call. I call my ex-boss, and he tells me I don’t have the job because they found someone with more experience (which is weird, cause I worked there for 3 years). What do I see today while looking for a job? The same job offer. They didn’t take me because of my mental illness. Pure discrimination. Fuck em 
(sorry needed to vent)
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Sometimes I would like to travel back in time, just to punch my past self in the face for making so many
questionable life choices.
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Staying positive is hard when you’re a 10/10 only on the bingo of “loss” according to a website heh.
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Well if its any consolation I know a girl who passed a jury national exams placing 8th or 4th and was still neglected, its all about family connections. Embassy, academic rectory…
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Who wouldn’t want that?
But now I think about it, it’s okay that I made the wrong decisions. At least I met such good people I probably wouldn’t know now.
You know everybody makes mistakes, it doesn’t help us living in the past. We need to focus on the “here & now” I think that matters. We can change everytime to a better person without looking back. So, please don’t punch yourself!
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Wow. That’s way worse than me haha. It was just for a shitty minimum wage job anywayz, I’m better off not going there as it’s very toxic and not good for me. Only wanted to point out that even in a drug store, there’s discrimination when you have mental illness, which I find pretty stupid because it doesn’t affect my work and my experience and my skills ^^ Only my mood 
I’m better off without those narrowminded people that doesn’t know how the real world works and their only problems are their own little self.
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Some people are just totally predictable.
These streetwear/hypebeast visual kei bands looks hella ehh. I appreciate Koiichi actually embracing the look rather than half-assing and making it look uninspired.
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I’m glad that you can find something positive in such a thing. I would like to have the same positive view.
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On a brighter note, I have to admit I made some awesome online friends on here You know who you are, thank you!
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I know that it is possible to change. But I kind of have bad experience with that.
To be honest, five months ago I wouldn’t even think about joining this forum. I was able to live semi-happy. I was always able to brush off any hardships or just plainly accept them.
Four months ago happened an absolute banality to me, that threw me into the spiral of self deprication. How banal that thing was always makes me laugh when I think back to it.
I felt quite depressed therefore I joined the forum.
To have some interaction with like-minded people.
If I didn’t join we wouldn’t be able to have this conversation.
So I guess you were right about meeting awesome people.
I definitely do not want to be so negative. Thank you for your kind words.
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When you are surrounded by positive-minded people you’ll feel their good vibes too. I hope you will continue to meet people who will give you those vibes John!
And tbh I’m open to any kind of conversations, if anyone ever needs to get anything off their chest, feel free to just dm me. I’ll be your listening ear. ^^
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Yeah girl, I meant you also ^^ And you’re welcome!
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It is always possible to change JohnN I changed my mindset, little by little, and it is possible. I still go back to how I was, from time to time, it’s still hard, not easy. But don’t give up! You’ll see, a brighter world ahead of you. And life isn’t easy. Happiness? Impossible to be happy 100% of the time. It’s okay if you’re sad, it’s okay if you feel down. We all go through those moments, and we need those. Happiness is created by those little moments you enjoy doing your passions. Let’s take VK. You see a new song by fav band, you listen to a new band. Those are happy moments. Take these, cherish them. As for me, it’s when I play games, when I write, when I’m with my best friend. I take all these little moments, and I cherish them fully
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The thought, that someone cares for who is essentially a stranger on the internet, made tears well up in my eyes. I really have to thank you and @Masato for your kind words.
Masato fyi I’ve listened to the album I believe in me by Lynch. you’ve recommended me. I really enjoyed it.
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I’m glad me and Catness could help you and cheer you up a little bit If you need to talk, feel free to do so, I’m on Discord, same username. and @Rize is also a good person, a very kind soul, a REAL sunshine. Imo, I call her Miss sunshine, and it’s not for nothing ^^
I’m glad you enjoyed that cd! It’s soo good. Favorite song every by them is Lie. I bought the dvd that had it on it just to hear this song live lmao.
Check their best of 2004-2014, you’ll have the full picture of the band after. ^^
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Had to get an abscess on my finger lanced last nights and jesus fuck my hand hurts
Thanks for saying that @Luna & @Masato !
Tbh I just want people to look at themselves and just appreciate their own flaws.
I’m glad I’ve met you both here on the forum!
I’ve also been working on myself for a long time now and when you finally can accept how you are then everything around you will bloom itself and will become better. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a little push or give someone a little push to the right direction! 
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turns out i’m a major daizystripper stan 
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