Throwback to when my Mum brought me to the psychologist and lowkey Told him I wanted to be Asian.
I want to be skinny as them, But that’s it lmao.
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I wanna be a japanese 
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that’s honestly hilarious
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Still DK how She came to this. tho iwas pretty obsessed with KPop and cause of my problem with food/ Body / self Image and whishing too look like the Female Idols Body wise. I only complained once jokingly that’s i whish i would be Black instead of white cause of there Hair lmao.
People are so disillusioned and out of touch…especially in regards to relationships. I’ve seen a lot of relationships plagued by the concept of “freedom”, and I don’t think many people even understand there is no such thing. Ppl think that “doing whatever you want” = freedom, but more often than not, that just means you’re “free to be dumb” 
Whether you realize it or not, you are submitting to SOME thing. Even if you’re “doing whatever you want” , you’re still submitting to some thing. Most ppl are in submission to their own ideas and feelings, which they’ve usually not explored or examined at the root. And so they’re astonished when those roots sprout up and bear unsavory fruits like chaos, drama, dysfunction, heartbreak, depression, etc…The only real freedom anyone has is in what they choose to submit themselves to.
Ppl will embrace these artificial feelings of “freedom” in relationships, which may certainly feel good in the moment, but ultimately do not yield anything life-giving or sustainable…thereby inviting chaos and the aformentioned woes. Meanwhile, concepts like boundaries, jealousy, possession/ownership, submission, etc. are so terribly misunderstood and percieved to be oppressive that ppl forsake them…not realizing that they’re also forsaking order, peace, function, and joy at the same time.
I tend to look at relationships like gardens. So many ppl want a pretty garden, but don’t want to submit to the principles and the wisdom required to plant and maintain that garden. So in the name of “freedom”, they’ll just throw some seeds (any seeds) on the ground and hope for the best. 
But for a relationship to be functional and to truly produce life, those “oppressive” concepts need to truly be understood. There’s an order to everything, and submitting to that order yields the proper results: you can’t have a beautiful garden without the key elements like soil, water, and sunlight. In the same way you’d put a fence around a garden, you set up boundaries to protect a relationship.
When you own something, the state of that posession is a reflection of you. It’s the same in a relationship. Relationships aren’t just some arbitrary things that exist outside of us. No they’re a DIRECT reflection of you. If you don’t own something, then you’re not accountable for or to it. But when something (or someone) belongs to you, then how you treat it…how you care for it…how you maintain it will be made manifest. If you own a garden and its overrun by weeds, and all the plants are dying…how is that going to make you look as its owner? But if you own a garden and it’s a beautiful sight to behold, and everything is glistening and glowing, and functioning as it should, then what is that going to say about you as its owner? If you value what your posessions, it will show.
And contrary to popular belief, jealousy isn’t envying others or coveting what’s not yours. No. It’s simply the instinct to protect what belongs to you. It’s no different than a mother bird watching over her baby chicks. Same vibe. If I own a garden, then you’re DAMN right I don’t want any strangers walking up and trying to plant whatever they want in it. Fuuuuck outta here lol. If you’re cool with that…well, at that point, it’s a community garden, and some ppl are into that …
I digress. I’m rambling. Writing my thoughts out is therapeutic in a way. 
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Genki and Koichi are looking gorgeous!!!
are 8SPB back??? 
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Sometimes I’m just lost in dark, exhausted and kinda feel sad. It seems I can’t find my way out of it. I looked around everywhere. This place is an huge painful labyrinth, surrounded by insanity. Can I choose not to lose myself anymore? This anxiety deep inside me leads me to a wrong path. It seems I’m always on the search finding my light again although you know you shouldn’t be on the search anymore anyway or else the vampires come to you and take your energy away. Also you just forget you’ve already made it this far. Look, where are you standing now? You’ve made it this far 'cause you didn’t choose to give up 'cause everyday you managed to live on. Never forget this! Hiding in the dark is useless so show your scars proudly 'cause you got through this! You’re stronger than this nightmare! Go and change it , change your destiny, your attitude to move on. Leave unhealthy things behind, let it go this toxic darkness. And when you did that you’ll you bloom again. This light deep inside you, will bloom in your heart. Don’t let go of it! Play this Dark Souls game till the very end 'cause you know, success doesn’t come with a few empty tries. When you defeated this darkness, this pain, be proud of yourself 'cause you chose not to give up anymore. Now open your eye. Can you see this little sparkling light? 
Reach it and you’ll see an endless, beautiful sky filled with calmness. You’re now fully at ease and able to fly everywhere. Congrats, you’re finally free. 
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@CAT5 always gives those beautiful life lessons / reflections umprompted and I’m here for it, thanks
But I’d say this doesn’t only apply to relationships but also to life in general? Being free is nice but being 100% free in this world is… very unlikely? Almost utopic? In the end life is like the art of choosing what we will bound ourselves to. When we say “I want to be free” what it really means to me more often than not is “I’m not happy (anymore?) with the things I’m bound to” or “associated with” … be it people / relationships or job / tasks or roles / traits or whatever. In that sense I do wish for more freedom often but I can agree that it’s not the absolute some paint it to be IMO
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had no idea gazettE stans called themselves SIXTHGUNS
feeling like a major boomer LMAO
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For real?
or is this a “kpoppies gone vk” thing
Because i always feel they a obsessed with fandom names.
(Probably to make it easier to know who they have to bully and who not, because, “OMG they don’t stan my group”)
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I don’t get why people are mean when the only thing you are trying to do is helping them. I guess some people don’t want to be helped, because they are so deep into their own pain and so selfish they don’t realise their life is going off-track and the only thing you want is to guide them a little. I’ve been doing that all my life, and I’ve suffered a lot from it. A lot of people I met don’t want to change and will never listen to you, even if what you are saying is to help them, just a bit, they refuse to change and they will always whine about their current situation without changing. I guess some people will never change and will never be helped. I tend to care more about myself lately, and I toss away people that hurt me, people that only want my kindness, people that only want to talk to me about their problems but don’t listen to me when I have my own ones. I guess the only person I can truly help is myself, oh yes, that I’ve realise. There might be exception, and I met someone lately that wanted to change and through our conversations, I helped myself while helping her (you know who you are).
So yeah, that was me, passing by.
Yes, I am fine, just a bit upset 
On a brighter note, @Luna has become a good friend of mine. She cheers me up and I cheer her up ^^ So thanks 
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this is how I felt when I realized there was a B-T ~ stan twt ~ circle calling themselves fishtankers ( I’m okay with calling myself an universe bc it’s the kinda lame corny shit I expect from k-pop fandom kids but no this isn’t it )
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I still say “Boners” being the official name for fans of The BONEZ is the worst one. Jesse speaks fluent English, and he’s spent a lot of time overseas, so I’m sure he’s well aware of what it means.
What the actual fuck is wrong with some people?! Some dude was trying to beat up his girlfriend in our work’s parking lot during peak hours.
We called the cops and he got arrested and his car was towed. His girlfriend managed to escape unharmed.
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I wonder, how people like this get a girlfriend in a first place? I’ve seen a lot of stuff in this department while commuting to work. Sometimes it is mutual, but more often than not, it is one side abusing the other.
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did anyone overhear what they argued over? “my beloved, hathst you bringeth a fresh methadone refill from the clinic?” type of a thing again?
ngl I love rednecks stirring shit in public like it’s not a fight w/o the spectacle on top.
good on ur team for calling cops pronto tho omg
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Some people want you to be honest, just not about them.
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Sorry this is /venting but ugh …
I’m so so sooooo tired. I’m in a sort-of-eliteish private Law school and it’s SO SO ANNOYING how they don’t give a f to students who aren’t rich/some famous lawyer’s child/at the very least young/etc. It’s all about The Fame And Prestige it seems. The kind of treatment that some of us (who have to work in order to pay this expensive ass school and don’t have a lot of free time to study) get is disappointing. Everything we say is wrong, they don’t bother listening to us they just reach conclusions (often wrong) by checking our CVs or whatever. IDK how honestly. Yeah sorry my dad isn’t a magistrate. But I’m paying the same as (actually, more than because I didn’t earn a scholarship) those rich kids so please care about me too?! Fuck.
I complained about a fucking teacher on the public messaging group and if he ever asks me about it I’ll ask him which gossipy asshole told him
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I personally didn’t hear what it was about because I was in the fitting room instead of being out on the floor but your hunch is most likely right.
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This is one of the reasons why I never went to university. In my country probably wouldn’t matter if you have renowned parents that much, but all the people I’ve met that had degree were arrogant, nose up in the air type people. Majority of my classmates didn’t care for learning at all, yet they still managed to get in the university, when they so so made it out of highschool. I didn’t want to be around and deal with such people. It was probably stupid from me to start working full time at the age of 19 and basically cut my youth short, but whatever.
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